Twist
by Spanish Chika
Summary: Jesse moves from Spain to Carmel to go to university. When he goes to his new apartment, he sees that the ghost of a girl named Susannah is haunting his room. Jesse is bound to figure out what happened to Susannah and why she is still here.
1. Carmel, California

**Ok, this is my first ever fanfic. Please read it and tell me if I should continue writing it.**

**This is a bit twisted. Jesse is alive and Suze is the ghost. I'm not sure if I'm going have Paul in it though. **

**Disclaimer: Meg Cabot owns everything you recognize from the Mediator series. I own the twist and things you don't recognize.**

**Jesse's POV**

"The plane will be landing in 5 minutes. Please fasten your seat belts." I looked around to see everyone reaching for their seatbelts. As I went to fasten mine, I got a quick glance of Carmel, California. I was moving here from Spain to go to med school. The palm trees were getting bigger as the plain was landing. I could see the sandy beaches surrounded by the beautiful blue ocean. I guess Carmel wasn't that bad, though I will certainly miss my family and friends back in Spain.

As the plain landed, all the passengers got up and got their luggage. I saw and old man trying to get his bags but couldn't quite reach. "Here let me help you, Padre," I said as I reached to get his bags for him.

"Thanks son. It's good to know there still are good, decent teenagers on this planet." (A/N sorry to all the teenagers. I'm a teen too, but I really wanted to make the old man a hag!) I handed him his bags and reached for my own. I headed out of the plane to see my aunt waiting for me with open arms. I walked toward and rapped my arms around her.

"Jesse! Oh my gosh you've grown. How are your parents? Is your Madre well?"

"Hola Tiíta!(hello auntie)And I assume you are well also. How are Shawna and Shawn? How is John?" I looked at my aunt's cheerful face. She had aged since last time I saw her, but she still had that radiant glow to her.

"Oh they're all waiting for you by the car. Come on, we mustn't keep them waiting."

I picked up my bags and followed my Tiíta out the airport. As I opened the doors, I saw Sr. Covas and the twins waiting by a dark blue van. Shawn had certainly grown, last time I saw him he was still in diapers. He long dark hair and had grown quite tall. And I saw that Shawna was growing to be a beautiful young lady. They both must be about 15.

"Jesse, it's great to see you. Here let me help you with those bags." John took my bags and put them in the truck.

"It is also good to see. And thank you for your help." I shook the hand John held out for me. And then I looked at Shawna and Shawn. Shawn came up to me and Shook my hand.

"Hey Jesse! How's it going?" He said with smirk on his face.

"It's going well, and how are you? You have grown a lot since I saw you last." He was almost as tall as me and I noticed that his voice had gotten quite deep. Though he had grown, he still had a playful, careless look in his black eyes.

I turned around and gave Shawna a hug. She had also grown. Her dark brown hair came down to the elbows and I noticed she had red highlights. She had grown tall and had all the right curves in the places. (A/N no Jesse is not hitting on Shawna. He's just describing her.) "Hey Jesse, it's nice to see you again." She said with a soft smile.

"It's great to see you too. You are certainly growing into a beautiful young lady." I bent down to kiss her cheek. (A/N he really isn't hitting on her. He's just being a gentleman.)

"Well, if we're all set, let's hit the road." John said as he got in. I got in the back with Shawn. When everyone got in, John started the car and we were on our way.

"Jesse, why don't you come to our house for supper and then we'll take you to your apartment." My aunt said back to me. I never knew they had gone to the trouble to get me an apartment?

"Gracias, eso suena bueno," (thank you, that sounds good) I said. I was embarrassed by all that my aunt and her family had done for me.

As we were driving, I noticed how beautiful Carmel was. And I had never seen such a bluer ocean. "So Jesse, are you psyched about going to university? What do you want to become anyways?" Shawn interrupted my thoughts.

"Yes, I am very excited, though I'm a bit nervous. And I plan on being a doctor." I turned around and looked at him. He looks a lot like me, he even acted like me when I only 15.

"What kind of doctor do you want to be?" Shawna asked softly.

"I'm thinking of becoming a surgeon?"

"Eww, dude so are you like gona cut people up or something?" Shawn asked with a look of disgust on his face. Everyone in the car laughed.

"Yeah I guess so." I said after I caught breath. "I actually find it fascinating. It may be gross at first, but just thinking about helping someone else feel better or even saving someone's life is great."

"Dude, you're like a saint!" Shawn said as he patted me on the back. I smiled at him.

"Ok, here we are," John yelled back. I looked up to see a beautiful Victorian house. "Jesse here's 98 Pinecrest Avenue."

Everyone unfastened their seatbelts and piled out of the car. I went to the trunk to get my bags. "Oh Jesse, that won't be necessary. We'll just take you to your new apartment after your done with dinner." Oh, how could I have forgotten about my apartment?

John opened the front door and we all went in. as I stepped in, I noticed the smell of spaghetti and fresh flowers. "Shawn, show Jesse where the bathroom is so he can get cleaned up. Shawna, come help me set the table." My Tiíta went to the kitchen followed by John and Shawna.

"Come one Jesse, let's go get you cleaned up." I chuckled as I followed Shawn up the stairs. He stopped at the second door down and opened it up for me. "Bathroom's all yours"

"Thank you. I'll be down in a minute." I said as I closed the door. I turned on the cold water and splashed some on my face. The water felt cool and refreshing against my skin. And then I washed my hands with soap and water. After I had dried my hands, I headed downstairs.

When I went into the dining room, I saw that the table was set and everyone was chatting quieting. "Sorry to keep you guys waiting," I said as I took my seat next to my Tiíta and Shawn.

"That's alright Jesse," John said as he passed me the spaghetti sauce. "Help yourself please."

"Thank you." I stated digging in my food immediately. I hadn't eaten for five hours and I was very hungry.

"We got you all the essential appliances and furniture and it's all set in your new apartment." My aunt said after a couple of minutes of silence. "It's very close to the med school you'll be attending and you can come over here for supper every night."

"Gracias, you shouldn't have gone to all that trouble. Usted está haciendo demasiado para mí." (You are doing too much for me.) I was pleased beyond belief. My aunt and her family are doing too much for me and I do not know what to say.

"Oh, and Jesse I arranged for you to work as my secretary in the office," John said. He was the manager of a car company in Carmel. "You can start as soon as your classes, every weekday from 3 to 7 and on Saturdays from 9 to 5. Does that sound ok?"

"Thank you very much. Yes, that's great. I really can not thank you enough for all that you are doing for me."

"Oh honey, you're welcome. What are families for?" I could not believe my ears. I was embarrassed by all that they had for me.

As we were cleaning the dinner table, the bell rang. "I'll get it. It's probably Brad," Shawn said running toward the front door. Seconds later he and a boy who looked to be his age came into the living room.

"Hey Brad, how are you doing?" My Tiíta said.

"Hello Mrs. Covas. Sorry to bother you," Bradly responded. He had long brown hair and like Shawn, he also was quite tall.

"Oh, it's alright honey. How's your mom? Is she feeling better?"

"She's doing better, though she still isn't the same. She's been very different since Suze disappeared, but she's doing better. Now she doesn't break down every time she sees her picture or walks by her room." I was curious what had happened to this girl named Suze, but I decided not to bring it up.

"Tiíta, if you don't mind, I think I should be heading to my apartment so I can get settled in." I felt bad, like I was bothering my aunt and her family.

"Oh certainly Jesse, just let me grab my keys and we'll be on our way." I headed outside and waited for my aunt to arrive. "You ready to go?"

I climbed in the front and waited for my aunt to start the car. On the drive to my apartment, I was thinking about what Brad said and about the girl who disappeared. I really felt bad for her family especially her madre.

"Here we are," my aunt interrupted my thoughts. I looked up to a 4 story building. It was nice and clean and welcoming. My aunt had really picked a nice apartment for me.

I got my bags and headed for the front door. "Which floor is it on?" I asked my aunt when the elevator arrived. "The fourth floor." I pressed the 4 button and waited for the elevator to get to the fourth floor.

When the elevator stopped and the doors opened, I followed my aunt down the hall. "Here it is apartment 406. And here's your key." I opened the door to reveal a small but cozy apartment. I saw that all the furniture was set and that my aunt had gotten all the right appliances. "So what do you think? Do you like it?"

"I cannot thank you enough. It's really great!"

"Well then I'll leave you so you get settled in. Come over for lunch tomorrow and have good night."

"Thank you again for all that you have done." I held the door open for my aunt. When she had left, I went to look around my apartment one more time so I could sink everything in. It really was a cozy apartment.

Then I headed the single bedroom which was right next to the bathroom. Funny, I thought I heard a sound from in the bedroom. I ignored it and opened the door. When the door was opened, I was staring into a pair of emerald greens.

**Dun, dun, dun……**

**So should I continue writing or not. Please review and tell me what you think!**


	2. New Roomate

**Thank you to all of you who reviewed. You guys are my rays of sunshine. I love you all so much that if I loved you anymore I would so go crazy. Since I got good reviews saying you all want me to keep writing I will keep writing! Well here's chapter two... I hope you like it. By the way I'll try not to have too many author notes unless I really got to say something. And I'm sorry if I updated too late, I'm very slow at writing… I'll try harder to update sooner next time.**

**P.S. I'm sorry I only made you 15 Shawna… will you ever forgive me. If I write any other stories, I'll make you like 40 so you could totally drive.**

**Suze's POV**

"So what do you think? Do you like it?" I heard a woman's voice… she sounded familiar. She must have been the woman who came here to set up the furniture. I guess it wasn't for her after all. I mean a one bedroom apartment is pretty small for a family of four.

"I cannot thank you enough. It's really great," a male voice said. I guess this was his new apartment. He must have been a college student just like Ke... no one. Yeah, just no one.

"Well then I'll leave you so you get settled in. Come over for lunch tomorrow and have a good night." The woman said. I think her name is Betty. I heard the man she used to come here with call her that. Though I'm sure that man was certainly not the guy here, unless he went back in time or got anti-aging surgery. (A/N is there such thing as anti-aging surgery?)

"Thank you again for all that you have done." I heard the guy say again. He spoke very softly, and he had a foreign accent. It made him sound very sexy. I think he was Spanish, because I heard the woman and man speaking in Spanish. I guess you're wondering how come Betty never saw me when she was here before. Well, there's a simple explanation for that, I'm a ghost. Yes, I died two months ago in this apartment thanks to fucking… um God. Only certain people can see me or other ghosts, and those people are mediators. I used to be a mediator too. A mediator is someone who helps the dead move on to their other lives using any means necessarily, because ghosts are good for nothing and they're just wasting space. Well, at least I used to think that until I became one myself. I guess now I know what takes one to know one really means.

I heard footsteps getting closer to the room. Well at least now I'll have company, though he won't be able to see me or talk to me. I got up to see who my new roommate was going to be. As I was getting up, my head accidentally smashed into the wall I was sitting against. One good thing about being a ghost is that we really don't feel any pain. I mean we do, but it's only in our head. We think pain, not feel it. The guy hesitated before opening the door… weird, he couldn't have heard that. When he finally did open the door, he went completely pale, like he had seen a ghost. No he couldn't be… he didn't even look mediator material. So why was he staring right at me?

"Um… can you… well, can you see me?" I don't even know why I was so afraid. I mean if he wasn't a mediator he couldn't hear me. That just proves what a loser I really am.

"Yes, I can see you. I am what you would call a mediator. I can see and ta…"

"Look, I know what you are… I used to be one too. What's you're name?" I know interrupting your new roommate isn't any way to impress him, but I didn't need to listen to him explaining something I knew all about. Well not all about, but he couldn't possibly know more about it than me.

"Hector… Hector deSilva. But my family and friends call me Jesse. I suppose you could call me Jesse too if you like." he smiled at me… he really had a nice smile. And his voice was so soft and sexy. I could totally live with him.

"Um…" Why couldn't I speak to him? Now I looked like I just saw a ghost. I had butterflies in my stomach for no reason.

"What is your name, Querida?" His voice wasn't the only thing about him that was sexy… he was a God sent down to earth to keep me company. Wait, a god is and understatement… he was too hot to be a god.

"Susannah… as in 'oh Susannah don't you cry for me.' But everyone calls me Suze… and if you call me Susie I'll make sure you won't be able to talk again." I don't even know why I was threatening him. The truth is I was afraid… of what I don't know.

"Ok Querida, I won't call you Susie," he laughed his soft laugh. That laugh made me feel so weird… I felt like my stomach had turned into a washing machine. And what was up with that Querida shit, I thought I told him my name was Suze. He only knew me for five minutes and he already had a nickname for me. Now I have to think of a nickname for him… Hot ass, Sex God…

"Um… I think I'm going to have to ask you to leave Susannah, considering how this is going to be my apartment." What… LEAVE? What happened to the whole me sharing a room with the hot guy thing? He so could NOT make me fucking leave? If anyone was going to leave it was going to be him.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I am so not leaving… why should I leave, I've been here for two months now. You're the one who's going to be moving out. I don't give a fucking shit that this is you're apartment now… I'm not moving out. You can either get a new apartment or deal with me."

"But Querida…"

"It's Susannah!" He is despicable. How dare he tell me to leave and then make up some dumb nickname for me?

"What do you mean?" How did they let some one this dumb go to college?

"I said my name is Susannah, not Querida!"

"I'm sorry… Susannah I do not think it is a good idea for a lady and a man to be sharing an apartment unless they are married. What if…"

"Dude if you haven't realized, I'm a ghost and you're alive. I don't you'd want to have sex with some one who's dead. Unless you're really desperate." Which I doubt he is.

"But you are still a female and I am a male… and well ghost or not, I am still capable of… um…"

"Having sex with me?" I had a smirk on my face. Jesse looked up and I saw that his cheeks were pink. He looked kind of cute… in a big boy kind of way.

He sighed and took a seat on the edge of his bed. I must admit the woman had pretty good taste. The whole apartment was really nicely arranged. "Ok, if you are going to stay here then we'll have to come up with some house rules," he said, smiling in an I-give-up-you-win way.

"First rule: no sex. Second rule: you go away while I change. Third rule: no sex…" I said trying to imitate Jesse's voice. He burst out laughing at my attempt and I got the washer machine feeling again. Rule number four should be no laughing.

"Ok, ok, you win again… no rules. The only rule is that you respect my wishes and I respect yours. And right now I'm tired, so I'm going to go take a shower… um…"

"Don't worry, I won't sneak in the bathroom… I'm not desperate you know." Could the guy be any more distrusting? I mean most guys I know were obsessed with their dicks… maybe he didn't have one and he was a cross dresser. Or worse, maybe it was only half an inch. I heard somewhere that penises range from half an inch. (A/N my friend's PDR teacher told her that.)

"I'll see you later, Querida." There he goes again with the Querida thing. He could at least insult me in English so I would understand.

"Whatever, _Querida,_" I said. That again made him laugh and the washer machine turned on. God, laughing should really be against the rules. He grabbed his towel and headed for the bathroom leaving me alone in the room. Being a ghost, there isn't much to do really… even if there was I'd probably already done it. So to pass the time, I decided to make our dear Hector deSilva a sandwich.

I dematerialized into the kitchen and started to make a sandwich. I got out two loaves of bread and a can of tuna fish and opened it ghost style, which is with my mind. I mixed the tuna with mayonnaise and put it on the bread. Then I poured him a glass of milk and dematerialized in his room. Being a ghost has its advantages, one being able to dematerialize. But it also has its disadvantages, for example being stuck in the same cloths forever. Though I must admit my outfit was really nice, a pink halter top and a black mini skirt along with my favorite pair of Jimmy Choos. But it still sucks being stuck in the same cloths forever. More reason to hate that son of a bitch. I set the plate with the sandwich and the glass of milk on Jesse's desk and waited for him to get out of the shower.

I heard the water turn off and Jesse getting out of the bath tub. "Susannah?" He called out.

"In here, deSilva." He made his way to the room and opened the door to reveal a true sex god wearing nothing except a towel tied around his waste. Holy fucking shit… could his abs be any sexier? His chest was so perfect… it was totally abulicious. I guess I was staring at his chest a little longer than was polite because I realized Jesse giving me a weird look.

"Um… I made you a sandwich. I thought you'd be hungry you know considering how you just moved and it's 12:00 am. If you're not hungry though, it's ok. I guess you could have your sandwich in the morning. It's tuna by the way… I don't know if you like tuna or not. It's ok if you don…"

He started laughing again, interrupting my pathetic explanation as to why I had made him a sandwich. "Thank you, Querida, and tuna is fine. Just let me get dressed and I will be right with you."

"No…" OH MY GOD, I can't believe I just told Jesse not to get dressed. Bad Suze… bad, bad Suze. He probably thinks I'm a whore… I can't believe I said that, my mouth should go to jail for yelling with no permission.

"Are you ok, Querida?" Jesse said giving me a confused look. Come on Suze, think of something fast…

"I meant no, thank you for letting me stay with you. I promise I won't bother you." God I'm pathetic.

"I don't mind. It's nice having company and some one making me sandwiches." He said grabbing a plain white t-shirt and pulling it on. Yummy… I wonder if he was wearing boxers. Shut up brain, you nasty little thing. The thing is that he's just so hot. I loved the way his thick black hair curled behind his ears and a couple of strands fell in his eyes. His eyes were the most beautiful thing about him; they were a really dark brown and they looked very deep and liquid-y. They were very dark but at the same time light and kind. Stop it Suze; don't do this to yourself again.

"Susannah…"

**Jesse's POV**

"Sorry… I must have spaced out. Did you say anything?" She said looking up. She really was beautiful… though she looked very sad. I wonder what had happened, but I wanted to wait until I knew she trusted me before asking.

"I asked if you wanted to join me in the kitchen."

"But I can't eat…" Way to go deSilva.

"We could talk, that way I would have company while I enjoy this delicious sandwich you have made for me."

"I guess so, there's nothing else to do," she said. She had this unhappy look in her beautiful green eyes. I took the plate and the glass of milk and followed her to the kitchen. I sat on one of the chairs around the dining table my aunt had purchased for me. I watched as Susannah took the seat across from me and started eating the sandwich she had made.

"So, how come you moved here?" she asked breaking the silence.

"I moved here from Spain to go to medical school. My aunt, the woman who was here earlier tonight, had gone to the trouble to purchase this apartment for me."

"I saw her coming here a couple of days before. Does she live here?"

I nodded and took a sip of my milk. "Yes, she does. Did you use to live here?"

"Yes, I used to live here… why do you wanna know?" I guess I had made her upset. I could tell she was very happy about being dead.

"I'm sorry Susannah… I didn't mean to offend you." I said looking into her green eyes.

"Call me Suze… Susannah's too formal." Suze, where had I heard that name before? I know I had heard it somewhere and it was bothering me not knowing where. No body I knew was named Suze or Susannah, and I doubt I had heard it on the television or read that name in a book or the newspaper. Dios (God), where had I heard that name before?

"I prefer Susannah," I said getting up to rinse my cup and plate. "And what is wrong with being too formal?" I smiled at her as I headed for my bedroom.

"Whatever you say, deSilva." She said rolling her eyes at me making me laugh. "Jesse, Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you may. What is your question, Querida?"

"What does Querida mean? Is it something bad, like bitch or whore?"

"I would never call any woman any of those names."

"So, what does it mean? I think I have a right to know considering how you're always calling me that." She said looking confused. I don't know how I was going to answer her question… I don't know myself why I called Susannah Querida.

"Good night Susannah, I will see you in the morning." I said trying to change the subject.

"Jesse, you have to tell me what it means. If you don't, I'll make a nickname for you and trust me when I say you won't like it. If you go to sleep without telling me what it means, I'll make sure you won't be able to ever call me that again. Jesse, JESSE…" I smiled at her and turned off the lights. Then I climbed into my new bed and tried to figure out where I had heard Suze before.

8

I woke up and saw that sunlight covered the room. I looked around and realized the window was closed… I thought I had left it open when I went to sleep. I got up and rummaged through my suitcase for some cloths to wear. I changed into a pair of jeans and a bottom up shirt, got my toothbrush and headed for cuarto de baño (bathroom).

When I got out of the bathroom, I noticed Susannah in the kitchen. "Hello Querida."

"Hey Jesse, how did you sleep last night?" she asked smiling at me. I saw that she had made me scrambled eggs and had poured me a glass of orange juice.

"I slept fine, thank you for asking. Why did you go to the trouble of fixing me breakfast? I could have fixed something for myself."

"I was bored, nothing much to do when you're a ghost." Again I saw a flash of sadness and anger in her eyes. But it was gone before I could make sure it was even there. I couldn't stand the curiosity anymore. I must ask Susannah what was bothering her so much. I have met a lot of ghosts before, and a lot of them were upset about their situation, but none like Susannah.

"Querida, why are you so sad?" I asked softly. I didn't want to be too forward and ask the question immediately, but I didn't how else to approach her.

"I'm not sad… I mean I'm mad I'm dead but nothing more than that. Really I'm the happiest ghost ever. I mean sure I'm dead but that's life. Whatever made you think I was sad? I'm so hap…"

"Susannah, can I ask you a question?" I interrupted her because I knew if I didn't, she would be talking forever.

"I… I guess so."

"How did you die?" I shouldn't have asked her like that but I had to know. I looked up and saw that Susannah was deep in thought. She looked sad again. She was looking around as if she was searching for something.

"Querida, I asked how you died?" I asked just incase she hadn't heard me or she had forgotten the question.

"I… I…" I saw that she was crying now. Her eyes looked darker than before… like they were clouded with sadness and anger. I noticed she was looking down so I wouldn't realize she was crying. I cupped her face with my hands and tilted her head up so I was looking into her green eyes.

"What happened, Querida? Please tell me." I asked her looking deep in her eyes. I noticed she was crying harder now. I wiped her tears off with my thumb.

"What happen, Querida? How did you die… were you murdered?" I asked again. But this time I knew I had gone too far, because right then Susannah dematerialized.

**What ever could have happened to Suze? Was she really murdered? Where had Jesse heard that name before? Why is Jesse so sexy? Only one way to find out…REVIEW!**

**By the way, do you think I should have Paul in this story? Or should it just be Jesse and Suze? Please tell! Now review! **


	3. Picture Frame

**Thank you to all who reviewed. I can't believe you actually like my story. I still don't know about Paul… I got mixed reviews! I don't know how to even put him in the story. I don't want to make him bad… I love him too much. By the way, I'm sorry if the other chapter had too many swear words. **

**This chapter is dedicated to everyone who reviewed. Please keep reviewing so I can keep writing. I need reviews to write like cars need gas to run. I hope you all like this chapter!**

**Suze's POV**

"What happen, Querida? How did you die… were you murdered?" Jesse asked me. I noticed I was crying harder than ever. I just couldn't take him asking me all those questions anymore. All those questions, him looking at me like that… they all just brought back too many cruel memories. I couldn't take it anymore. Jesse was trying to keep me calm and help me, but that was just making it hurt more. I didn't know what to do; I just couldn't tell him the truth and I couldn't lie to him when I was looking straight in his eyes. There was only one thing I could do… something I did every time some one tried to help. I closed my eyes and pictured my old bedroom, and when I opened my eyes I was there.

I missed my old bedroom. I missed my pink walls, my bed, my window seat… I missed everything. I noticed that it hadn't changed since I died; I guess Mom didn't really know what to do with it. Maybe she thought I was still alive and I'd come back. But I knew even though all the headlines said I was missing, Mom knew I was dead. I lied down on my bed and closed my eyes and let all my emotions fall from my eyes.

**Flashback**

"_We shouldn't do this here… what if some one sees us?" I moaned as he started kissing my neck. I felt him grinning against my neck and I started to giggle. _

"_Don't you mean what if some one sees you?" he said moving down my neck to the skin that was revealed by my blue tank top. His hands played at my waist trying to decide to go up or down. _

"_Don't you think they'll find a girl making out with air kind of weird?" I guess he decided to go up. His hands moved up my shirt gently. They moved to my back searching for the hook to bra. I was afraid some one would see us, well me and think I was a desperate idiot making out with my self. _

"_Don't worry, no one will see us. It's 1:00 am, there's no one in the park." He continued kissing my neck. Being seen wasn't the only thing I was afraid of… I was afraid he'd go too far. For some reason, I didn't trust him the way I was supposed to. I should have. He was always telling me how much he loved me, and I loved him too. Or at least I think I loved him. He had never forced me to do anything and he was always nice to me… but for some weird reason I still didn't trust him. It was like I knew that he wasn't good for me and that he was going to hurt me. And that's not a very good feeling to have toward your boyfriend. _

_I pushed him off and sat up on the bench we were on. "What did you do that for… is there something wrong?" I felt so guilty. What if he thought I didn't love him? _

"_No, there's nothing wrong. I just think it's better if we go somewhere else. I'm still afraid some one might see us." I said looking down at my shoes. I just couldn't look in his eyes. They've always told me things I didn't want to know._

"_Ok, how 'bout I materialize us to your room? No one will se us there." He said softly looking at me. _

"_Um… I was wondering if we could call it a night. I have a test tomorrow and I haven't study one bit. You could come to my room tomorrow and we could hang out."_

_He sighed and looked up at me. I was looking in his hazel brown eyes now. A strand of thick black hair fell in his eyes and I reached and moved it out of his eyes. "I'm sorry… please don't think that I don't love you. It's just that I'm already failing and I really need to do well on this test." A lie but I just couldn't think of anything else._

_He looked at me for a few seconds before speaking. "I won't. Here I'll materialize you back. That way you won't have to walk." He said with a smile. Yay, he forgave me again… or at least I think. Again I saw this look in his eyes, I couldn't really describe it. It was a mixture of anger, hurt, sadness, hunger, rage, and a you-win-this-time-but-I'll-have-the-last-laugh look. It really hurt to see that in his eyes, and it made me wonder how he really felt about me. I ignored it, as usual._

_He wrapped his arms around my waist and dematerialized and materialized us to my room. "Thanks, I'll um… I'll see you tomorrow."_

"_Yeah Suze, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye for now." He bent down and kissed me on my lips and then left. _

_When I was sure he had gone, I stripped down and went to take a shower. I turned the water on to the hottest my skin could stand and stepped inside. As the hot water was pouring on my skin, all I could think about was the look in his eyes. It was like they were sending me a threat… like they were warning me to watch out. But watch out for what, he would never hurt me… would he? _

_To take my mind off him, I grabbed my Herbal Essences and poured some in my hands. I rubbed my hands together and started to wash my dark brown hair. I messaged my scalp and ran my fingers through my hair. When I was sure I had shampooed my hair thoroughly, I picked up my conditioner and smoothed my hair out with it. I really love my Oasis conditioner. The smell is so good it makes you want to swallow the whole conditioner. The guy who invented conditioner is really a genius. I wonder what got him or her (it probably was a girl considering girls the ones who use conditioners most, though it could always have been a gay guy) to think about inventing the conditioner? I mean people invented the shampoo to clean their hair… but how do you come up with conditioner? I guess you just have to be really smart. Whoever the person is who invented conditioner, I truly thank them and I want them to know I really do love them for making such a great product._

_When I was finished with my shower, I got dressed in my warmest and comfiest pair of pajamas and climbed into my bed with my American History text book. You thought I was just lying about the whole I-got-a-test-could-we-call-it-a-night thing. Well, I was and I wasn't, I have a test the day after tomorrow… which is sort of true. I mean who says I can't study ahead of time. To be honest, I was actually studying because I was afraid he might check on me. That just proves how I really mistrusted the guy. Sigh!_

_You know what would be really cool… having a ghost haunting your bedroom. That way you'd never be lonely… like I was right now. You'd always have someone to talk to, to hang out with, to help you with your homeroom, to kick ghostly ass with you. I wish I had a ghost haunting my room, one that died in this very room. And he would be really hot and sweet. Like having a sexy roommate your mom's never going to find out about. Sigh, so many wants and not enough haves. I mean come one, what are the chances of a teenage mediator chick getting a hot guy ghost haunting her bedroom. (A/N yeah Suze, what are the chances?)_

_Once I had read one paragraph of my American History book, I dropped it on the floor and crawled back under my covers. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was fast asleep._

8

"Bradly Louis Ackerman, get down here this instance." I woke to my mom's yelling. You probably thought ghosts can't sleep. Well, we don't need to but we can just zone out… kind of like sleeping. That's what I had been doing, zoning out. Or as I like to call it, ghost sleeping.

I wonder what had happened. I got off my bed and dematerialized downstairs. I saw the picture of me and my mom together on the ground covered in bits of glass. The picture was ok but the picture frame I got my mom was destroyed. Oh, Brad was so going to endure a slow painful death because of what he did with that picture frame. I paid $100 for that and I know it meant a lot to my mom. That FUCKING son of a bitch.

"Bradly, how could you do this? You know how much I love this picture frame. It's the closest thing to Suze that I have left and you allow yourself to break it to pieces."

"I'm sorry. I swear it was an accident. Me and Shawn were gona go out to play and I went upstairs to get my football. I threw it down to Shawn but he didn't catch it and it hit the picture frame. I'm so sorry. I'll go out tomorrow and buy one just like it."

"I don't want one just like it… I want this one." My mom pointed down to the pile glass in the floor. She started to cry as she looked at the picture on the floor. "Just go up to your room."

My mom sat against the wall and put her head down on her knees. She started crying softly. "Oh Susie, why did you have to go? Why did you leave? First it was your dad and now you. Why does this have to happen to me?"

"I… I'm so sorry mom. I didn't want to leave." I said out loud, but what was the point, it wasn't like she could hear me. Seeing my mom crying like that made me start crying too. I couldn't take seeing her like that and all because of me. Doing what I do all the time when I have a problem, I dematerialized to Jesse's apartment. Though that wasn't a very good idea!

**Jesse's POV **

I saw a shimmer of blue lights and looked up to see Susannah standing in front of me. I immediately put the chicken sandwich I prepared myself for lunch down on the plate and stood up.

"Querida, I am so sorry if I hurt you this morning. I really didn't mean for you to get hurt, I just wanted to help you. I am very sorry Susannah, please accept my apology." When I looked up, I saw that she was looking deep in my eyes as if trying to figure out if I was truly sorry or not. I was, I really didn't want to hurt Susannah.

"It's ok… I know it's your job to find out how we useless ghosts died and what the hell is keeping us here. I used to make a few ghosts cry by asking the same questions back when I was alive." She said very rapidly. I could tell something was troubling her. That's the thing about her; she's so easy to read. I could tell how she was feeling just by looking into her green eyes.

"I'm not trying to get you to leave Susannah, I like having company here. And I certainly do not think you are useless. I was just curious before and I wanted to see if I could help you in any way." I told her taking my seat again. She looked like she had been crying recently. Dios (god), even when her eyes where red, she was still muy hermoso (very beautiful).

"Where have you been this whole time?" I asked. I really wanted to know what was troubling her without being too forward. I wanted to know if her tears were because of me or if something else had happened. I guess it was just my habit as a mediator to help ghosts… or maybe because I was beginning to really care for Susannah. I know she is just a ghost and she will be moving on one of these day, but she was just very atractivo (attractive) in ways I couldn't describe.

"I went back to my old room, where I used to_ live_." She said putting emphasis on the word live.

"Did anything happen that might have caused your tears Querida?" I asked her softly. I really wanted to know why Susannah was always so triste (sad). I had never met anyone as sad as her.

She looked intensely into my eyes for a few seconds. It was as if she wanted to find out why I was so interested in her sadness and the reasons behind her tears. It looked like she was trying to figure out if she could trust me or not. She wanted to make sure I wouldn't hurt her… but why would I ever hurt a person I cared so much about. Who would ever hurt someone they amó (loved). I mean not loved, they liked… as a friend. Of course I had no feelings for Susannah. I was just trying to help her that's all.

"My stepbrother, Brad broke this picture frame with the picture of me and my mom in it. I gave it to her as a gift for her birthday. My mom started crying when she saw it broken and I just couldn't help myself." She said looking down the whole time.

I got up and wrapped my arms around Susannah who had begun to cry again. "Oh Querida, I am so sorry. Is your madre (mother) well?"

Again she broke down. I guess today wasn't a very good day for her. "I miss her so much. I want her to be able to see me again and I want her to be able to hear me tell her how much I love her and how much I miss her. Oh Jesse, I miss her so much. She was crying asking why I left her and all I wanted to do was to hold her and tell that I'm sorry but I couldn't." She said into my shoulder.

"Would you like me to tell her that for you Querida? I am a mediator after all and this is my job." I asked Susannah. "Or I could buy a picture frame just like the one you got for her and give it to her." I said trying to calm her down. I smoothed out her hair with my hands and kissed her on the top of her head.

"You're not gona be able to find another one like it. Gina and I found it in her aunt's attic. It's really old and I paid a lot of money to buy it from her aunt. Stupid Brad had to go ahead and break it with his dumbass football." Brad, where had I heard the name Brad before? Just like the name Suze, I know I had heard it somewhere recently but I do not know where. "And don't bother telling her what I said. She's gona think you know where they're holding me captive and call the police."

Wait a second… who's holding who captive? How could some one be holding Susannah captive when she is here? Or maybe, people think some one is holding her captive. Dios, now I had to know what had happened to Susannah.

I pulled Susannah away from me so I could look in her eyes. "Susannah, what do you mean? Who's holding you captive? Is there something you want to tell me?"

**Sorry my chapters aren't very long. Personally I don't like chapters that have a lot of things happening in them at the same time. And I promise you will find out what happened to Suze in the next few chapters. **

**And I still don't know about Paul. So far I don't think I'm gona have him in this story but if I think of a way he would fit I'll definitely have him. Now review please! **


	4. Dematerializing

**Jen Summers – I'm thinking about your idea. The truth is I really don't know how he's going to fit in the story. But thanks for the suggestion! **

**To all of you who were thinking that Paul is the bad ghost… he isn't! I just love Paul too much to make him evil. He's just too fictionally sexy to be evil. And believe me when I say the character in this story is truly evil. So a huge sorry goes to every one who wanted Paul in the story… will you ever forgive? Please continue reading my story! I might write a sequel with Paul in it, if this story goes well though! **

**Anyways… here's chapter four, I hope you all like it!**

**Suze's POV**

"Susannah, what do you mean? Who's holding you captive? Is there something you want to tell me?" Jesse said as he peeled me off him. Well peeled isn't a very good term… I wasn't like stuck to him as much as I would like to have been. But I was still resting my head against his chest; his amazing, sexy, beautiful chest.

Anyways, back to killing myself even though I'm already dead. I can NOT believe I just said that. God, me and big mouth and dumb brain which doesn't function properly. I looked up to see Jesse staring at me so intensely it hurt to look. It was as if he had x-ray vision and he was trying to read me.

"Susannah?" Ouch… he wasn't even yelling at me and that 'Susannah' still made me jump 8 feet in the air. I kind of want to go back to the holding and kissing now. Well not really kissing… but he still kissed the top of my head. Though I'm not saying that I care… it's not like I love Jesse or anything. Of course I don't. I mean why would any sexy guy who's actually LIVING at the moment want to date a chick that doesn't even exist anymore?

"What are you talking about Jesse, no one's holding me captive." I said in an I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about way. I put on my best innocent look and stared at him right in the eyes.

"Susannah you know perfectly well what I am talking about? Don't play these childish games with me." Whoa I feel sorry for his future kids. As much as Jesse could be sweet at times, you don't want to make him angry. And how dare he yell at me? No one yells as Suze Simon.

"Listen Mr. Hector deSilva, I don't have to tell you anything that is going on in my life… or well my after life. And the stuff about people holding me captive, my mom just thinks that I still might be around and that some one is holding me captive. She hasn't gotten over my death yet." I said standing up tall to show him that no one tells me what to do. "And don't you EVER yell at me again. How dare you be so rude and inconsiderate to yell at a girl who is having the worst day ever?" I was having a really bad day, just not the worst day of my life. I don't think I've cried so many times in one day before.

He took a step back and kind of looked around for a few seconds. I saw that he didn't look as angry and mad at he did before. He looked thoughtful as if trying to figure out what to do next. He looked like he did before, sweet but hot at the same time. "Querida, I'm sorry I yelled at you like that. I had no right doing that. And if you do not wish to talk about your death right now, it's ok." He said calmly looking at me now.

"Damn right you had no right yelling at me." I said. I was truly pissed at him. How could he be so rude… and well mean? I was kind of hurt. I felt like he didn't want me around and he was trying to get rid of me by figuring out how I died and what's keeping me here.

And to make it worst, he sat down and started eating his chicken sandwich again. How rude… let's all just frigging forget about little Susie and eat our sandwiches. I was so pissed at him that I could feel a fire burning in my non-existing eyes.

Here's the thing about us ghosts, our emotions pretty much control us. Let's say if a ghost is very angry, he/she is bound to break or destroy something. That's why being a mediator is no fun job. Once, I had this ghost who wanted me to tell her boyfriend that she loved him. The problem was I had no idea who her stinking boyfriend was, and every time I would ask her she would start crying. One day she came and visited me, asking why I hadn't told her boyfriend and I freaked out on her for not telling me who her boyfriend was. I made her upset and she, of course being her emotional self, started crying. She cried so hard that all the water in the fountain we were standing next to splashed on me.

And at that time I was VERY angry at Jesse. So being a ghost, I broke something… or well more that one thing. All of a sudden the plate and the cup on the table broke, including all the other dishes in the kitchen. I really didn't mean to do that, it just happened. But I wasn't totally regretting it either. At least now I had Jesse's full attention.

"Susannah, what's wrong?" Jesse said calmly as if nothing had happened at all. God, I hate him. How dare he be so calm when I have flames burning in my eyes?

"Don't 'Susannah, what's wrong' me. Do you want to know what's wrong… you. How dare you yell at me and then calmly go back to eating your frigging sandwich. And also expect me to tell you every frigging detail of my life and death. Don't you give a fucking piece of shit how that affects me? Do you hate me so much that you're willing to do anything to get me out of your apartment? You are so despicable and insufferable. Well guess what, I am not moving. If anyone's going to be moving out it's going to be you."

"I'm only trying to help Querida. I di…"

"MY NAME IS NOT QUERIDA!" And with that the light bulbs in the kitchen all broke and glass fell all over the ground. Jesse covered his head with his hands to protect himself. When all the glass pieces had hit the floor, I realized that Jesse's arms had blood all over. Now, I was regretting what I did. I never meant to hurt Jesse, I was just so angry that he just ignored me.

"I… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I was just really angry." I said taking a step toward him. His arms had a lot of cuts and they were bleeding like crazy. "Um… I'll help you get cleaned off." I said and started walking toward the bathroom. Jesse hesitated a few seconds and then started following me.

**Jesse's POV**

The pain in my arms wasn't that big but they were covered in blood. I followed Susannah into the bathroom and watched as she took the first aid kit out. I wonder how she knew my aunt had gotten me a first aid kit. She took out a small towel and held it under the running tab.

"Give me your arm." She said looking at me. I could see a look of guilt in her eyes. I knew what had happened in the kitchen was mostly my fault. I shouldn't have yelled at her like that, but I was angry that she didn't trust me enough to tell me what had caused her death. And I know I shouldn't have ignored her, though I had no intensions of doing that. I guess it just seemed like I was ignoring her.

She took the wet towel and started to clean the blood of my arm expertly. She laid her other hand on my upper arm and my heart started beating very fast. She wiped the blood off one of the cuts on my arm and I flinched because of the pain.

"Sorry," Susannah said softly. She took a band aid out and put it over the cut on my hand. When her soft fingers came in contact with my skin, I flinched again. I didn't know why I reacted so strangely whenever her hands came in contact with my skin. I had never felt in such ways before. Just standing in front of her made me feel caliente (hot).

"All done. Give me you other arm now." She announced after a few minutes had passed. I saw that she was smiling up at me. I looked at my arm and saw that all the blood had been cleared off. Susannah had placed a bad aid over all of my cuts.

I placed my other arm on the counter for her to start cleaning. I realized that most of the blood on my arm had dried. She put one of her hands on my upper arm again and started to clean off the blood. It stung at times when she went over a cut with the wet towel, but it was when her fingers came in contact with my skin that I would react the most. I had never felt these emotions before.

I watched as she cleaned the blood on my arms. It was a bit harder for her to get the blood of since most of the blood had dried on my arms. But surely enough after a few minutes she was all done with both of my arms.

"Do you have any more cuts?" she asked. I held up both my arms and examined them. I saw that she had done a god job.

"No, I don't think so. Thank you Querida."

"No problem. It was my fault." She looked around for a few seconds. She looked a little uncomfortable.

"Jesse," she finally said.

"Yes Susannah?"

"I'm so sorry about the light bulb thing. I really didn't want you to get hurt. And I'm sorry about breaking all your dishes… I guess you have some shopping to do… ah ha ha." She said looking very uncomfortable.

"Don't worry about it, Querida. I know you didn't have much control over what happened. And I do not blame it on you, I was the one made who made you angry in the first place."

"How 'bout we both take some of the blame?" she said smiling up at me. The look of guilt that was in her eyes earlier had disappeared now.

"Amigos? (Friends)" I asked holding out my hand for her. I really wanted to become friends with her. That way she would be able to trust me and I could help her.

She looked at my hand for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. "Friends," she said smiling at me. She placed her own hand inside mine and shook it. Her hand looked very small when placed inside my hand. Though small, her hand was very soft. Again, just like before, when her hand came in contact with mine I felt very different. My heart started beating faster and I felt oddly hot though it was very cool in the apartment.

"By the way, aren't you supposed to go over your aunt's house for supper?" Susannah asked interrupting my thoughts. She slowly took her hand out of mine and placed it on the sink. I looked up at her. She looked much happier now than she did before.

"Yes, why do you ask?" I asked.

"What time are you supposed to be there?"

"My aunt told me to arrive there at five. We will be eating supper at 6:00 pm."

"Well it's 4:30 right now. Do you even know where she lives?" She made her way out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. I followed her, glancing at the clock on my way out.

I didn't think that little accident had taken so long. Or perhaps, it was the cleaning off that had taken a lot of time.

"I think her house is on 98 Pinecrest Avenue. I do not know how to get there though. Perhaps you could help me." I said smiling at Susannah who was sitting on my bed.

"Sure… were did you say she lived on again?" she asked.

"98 Pinecrest Avenue, do you know where that is Querida?" When I had given her the address, she stood up and looked at me in total shock.

**Suze's POV**

98 Pinecrest Avenue. I couldn't believe it, his aunt was Mrs. Covas. God, why had I been so stupid, I knew that woman sounded familiar. And that meant that his cousins were Shawna and Shawn. Oh, I miss those little hooligans so much. I miss yelling at Shawn for being stupid and hanging out with Dopey. And I miss going shopping with Shawna and giving her make-up advice.

Now that I think about it, both the twins looked a lot like Jesse. They all have beautiful dark hair and liquid-y black eyes. And a lot of their other features are the same. Shawn walks exactly like Jesse, and Shawna talks like him.

"Querida, I asked if you knew where my aunt's house is." I so can't let him know I was their neighbor. If he finds out, then he'll ask them everything about my death. I just hope Brad doesn't decide tonight to get his ass to Shawn's house.

"Of course I know where it is. I used to know Carmel like the back of my hand." A lie… I'd only lived here for two years. So, I didn't really know it like the back of my hand, but I knew Pinecrest Avenue like the back of my hand.

"Then could you help me get there? I don't want to ask my aunt, I have bothered then enough already." He said smiling at me. He had the nicest smile I had ever seen, it seemed to light up his whole sexy face. You're a ghost Suze, don't do this to yourself.

"Yeah, I'll dematerialize you there." I hope he didn't expect me to walk to there with him. Why walk when I can simply dematerialize? It's not like I have to lose weight or something, and even if I did, I'm a ghost. I'm going to be this way for the rest of my life.

"What do you mean Querida? I am capable of walking… maybe you could walk with me." Yeah right, like I'm going to WALK.

"Dude, why would I walk when I can dematerialize? And if you have forgotten, you're kind of late. Walking there takes thirty minutes. They're not exactly your next door neighbor." Though, they were mine.

He seemed to hesitate for a few seconds. Is it against the Spanish culture to be dematerialized? 'Cause if it is, then they should like change it.

After looking around for a few minutes, he finally came and stood next to me. Seriously what's wrong with dematerializing?

"I guess it would be alright if you dematerialize me to my aunt's house." he said, not looking too happy about the condition.

"Ok, get ready and we'll board the Suze express."

He laughed at that. He laughed his deep, soft, nice laugh. And my stomach started acting like a washing machine again. And as if that wasn't worst enough, my heart started beating like crazy. He's alive and you're dead, stop acting like an idiot.

He went to his suit case and got a pair of clean jeans and another bottom-up shirt. He got his towel, a pair of boxers (yes, he wears boxers not briefs), and his hair brush. And then he headed to the bathroom.

"Err… Susannah…"

"Yes," I said raising my eyebrows. I knew he was going to tell me not to watch him take a shower again, but I wanted to hear it from him this time.

"Thank you for all that you are doing. I really appreciate it."

What? What happened to the 'don't you dare watch me when I take a shower' talk? That was completely un-expected. But it made me feel really good inside, like the feeling you get after you've donated a lot of money to a charity.

"Um… you're welcome." I guess he wasn't as bad as I thought he was going to be.

He smiled at me and went into the bathroom. Minutes later I heard the water turn on. Though I wish I had seen the water turn and well Jesse… shut up brain. Shut up you stupid, little, dirty thing.

But I'm sure if you all had seen Jesse, you wouldn't mind watching him taking a shower either. He has this sexy, bad boy look to him but he isn't anything close to a bad boy. He was so sweet, and kind and such a…

SHUT UP! I can't believe I'm doing this to myself again. I'm a fucking ghost, why would Jesse want anything to do with me. Why would Jesse ever have feelings for a stupid ghost who has a whole bunch of things she needs to work out?

Five minutes later, I heard the water turn off and the shower curtains being pushed aside. This time I wouldn't even get to see him with his towel around his wai… shut up, shut up, shut up! God, I'm dirty.

Jesse came into the room looking fresh and clean. His gorgeous, dark hair was still wet, but other than that he was ready.

"Ready?" I asked standing up.

"Yes Querida, I am prepared to go." He said, putting his towel and other stuff away.

I went and stood right in front of him. All of sudden my heart started beating like crazy. My breath started becoming uneven. Why was I acting like this?

"Ok… um… put your hands on my waist." I should have walked with him to his aunt's house. Can I be any stupider?

"What do you mean Querida?" I don't know… we should have walked.

"I said, put your hands on my waist. You need to…. You need to be holding me so we can dematerialize." I said, trying to sound not so shaky and more confident than I actually was feeling.

He still just stood there staring at me like I had horns on my head. It wasn't like I was asking him to have sex with me or something… just to put his hands on my waist.

"Jesse?"

Nothing, he just stood there. I was really starting to get pissed so I grabbed his hands on put then on my hips. He just stood there very stiff as if he'd just turned into a statue.

"Susan…" he started to protest.

I just ignored him and took a step toward him. Yum… he smelled really good. He wasn't like the type guys who spray a whole bottle of Axe on themselves, his smell was more natural.

I put my hands on his shoulders and gripped on hard to him. With that, he seemed to step out of whatever weird state he was in and hold on to me.

I tried to ignore my crazy heart. Stupid heart, you'd think it would stop working after you're dead. But no, it just keeps on beating like crazy when the hot guy decides to finally hold you.

"Ok, now close your eyes." I closed my eyes and pictured the house Jesse's aunt live in. When I opened my eyes, we were standing right in front Mrs. Covas's house.

"Here we are." I said stepping away from Jesse.

He opened his eyes and looked around him. When he was sure we were in front of his aunt's house and didn't end up in the Arctic or something, he looked down at me.

When our eyes met, he started blushing a lot. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. And when I laughed, he just blushed more.

"I should be going now," he said still blushing. "Thank you very much for bringing me here."

"Any time, deSilva." I said watching him make his way up the stairs. When he got to the front door, he rang the door. Mrs. Covas opened the door and greeted Jesse.

"Hola Jesse," she said in the same way she used to talk to me. "Venido en, le hemos estado esperando (come in, we've been waiting for you)."

"Hola tiíta (hello auntie), thank you very much. I am sorry I kept you waiting." Can Jesse be any more of a gentle man?

Mrs. Covas stepped inside and Jesse went in after her. Just before closing the door, he looked back at me and gave me the nicest smile I'd ever received. I smiled back and he closed the door.

Sigh, must be nice to live. People can see you, hear you, touch you. I want to tell my mom how much I love her and how much I miss her, but I can't. I want to tell Cee Cee and Adam how much I miss them, but I can't. I want to talk to Gina again, but I can't. Imagine what it's like to know you're never going to get married or have kids. Or to do all the other things you've wanted to do like go to Europe, swim with dolphins, and all those others things. And the absolute worst thing about being dead, you can still fall in love. And to top it all of, you can fall in love with a guy who's still alive.

**So what do you all think? Do you like my little Jesse/Suze chemistry? Please review so I'll know!**

**P.S. I promise you'll find out about Suze's death very soon! Now review!**


	5. The Date

**Chapter five… I hope you all love it! **

**Sorry if I took too long by the way.**

**Suze's POV**

When Jesse had gone in, I looked back at my house. I saw Sleepy getting out of his car and going inside. I never thought the day would come when I would miss Sleepy… and I didn't only miss Sleepy, but I missed Dopey too. I guess deep down I always did like my stepbrothers. But I only liked them, nothing more.

_Sigh!_ And now I don't have a chance to show them how much I actually did care for them.

_SIGH!_

Before, I didn't mind death… I always thought I'd come back as a ghost and live the rest of my life. For me, death was never as final as it was for other people. I guess that was because I was a mediator and I knew about ghosts.

But now that I actually am a ghost, I knew how hard it really is. You get see everyone living, breathing, enjoying their life and all you can do is watch them do so. You see but no one sees you, you hear but no one hears you. You get to see your family deal with your death, grieve over you, wonder how you died and you can't even tell them.

_Sigh! _Life, or well death, sucks.

Not knowing what else to do, I dematerialized back to the apartment.

When I got there, I saw what a huge mess I had made earlier. There were bits of glass everywhere, all the dishes were broken and I even saw a couple drops of blood on the kitchen floor.

Seeing that made me feel so horrible for what I had done. If there was a chance of Jesse ever having feelings for me, I had just ruined it with my little spasm attack.

Trying to make up for what I had done, I picked up all the glass bits and broken dishes ghost method and put them in the garbage can.

Then I pick up a rag to wipe the blood of the floor with. I bent down and touched the blood, Jesse's blood. It was dried now and kind of disgusting.

I don't know why I even touched it… I used to scream whenever I saw blood before.

If Jesse had AIDs, I would have caught it now. Except that ghosts don't catch AIDs, or any other disease for that matter. And I don't think Jesse had AIDs. You could totally tell that if he ever wanted to have sex, he would use every kind of protection there ever was.

And if we ever had sex, he has nothing to worry about. Ghosts don't have AIDs, or any other STIs. And we don't get pregnant. So me and Jesse can have sex with noth…

Why am I even thinking about this? Of course we're never going to have sex. Out of all the girls in the world who are actually alive, why would he want to sleep with me? J-Lo would have sex with him if he ever asked her to.

I'm so stupid to even think about this…

Jesse isn't an idiot. And only an idiot would ever fall for some one dead.

More reason to hate being a FUCKING ghost.

To take my mind of being a ghost, I went into the bedroom to _zone out._

I really miss sleeping and dreaming. I still can close my eyes and zone out, but that's not really sleeping. It's just an illusion, like everything else. When you're a ghost, nothing is real… as far as the rest of the world is concerned, you're not even real.

So I guess you could say I went to illusion sleep… or well _illeep_.

Tee hee!

I'm going to _illeep_… I hope I have good _illeams_.

Man, I need a life… no I really do need a LIFE!

I'm pathetic!

So I went into the bedroom, and lay down on Jesse's bed.

Yum… it smelled like Jesse. It had that fresh, soap-y, guy deodorant-y sent to it.

For reasons beyond me, that sent turned me on. And Jesse wasn't even here. Good thing too. I probably would have ripped his cloths off if he WAS here right now.

Anyways, I closed my eyes and zoned out. Even though I'm a ghost, I still get tired. Or well, I think tired. I guess that's just my human-ness. I'm still not used to being a ghost I guess.

Meh… I have the rest of eternity to.

Time to rest my mind and body and let my soul run wild… though all I have left is a soul but whatever.

**Flashback**

"_Hello Mrs. Ackerman. Is Suze ready?" I heard him from downstairs. _

"_Hi. I'll call Suze down for you. She should be ready by now." _

"_Thank you very much," he was polite. I guess I'd never really got to know Kevin very much. I'd always thought of him as Sleepy's hot best friend. _

"_Suzie, Kevin's here." My mom yelled up to me. _

_I looked in the mirror to make sure I looked good for my first date with him. _

_I guess you could say I looked sophisticated in my long black dress. I loved all the little glittery bits on it and jeweled belt-ish thing at the waste. And the silver necklace my mom had got me went great with it._

_I'd styled my hair so it fell in curls against my back. I made sure my make up was ok and headed down stairs. _

_Holy shit! _

_Stop drooling Suze. You'll ruin your lipgloss. _

_Kevin looked so HOT standing there with a bouquet of blood red roses. And they were for me._

_He was wearing a pair of nice black jeans that seemed to fit him perfectly. He had on a navy blue sweater with a white t-shirt underneath it. Not too formal and not too casual. _

"_Hi Suze," he said smiling at me. _

"_Hi," I said walking beside him. I smiled up at him… he was so gorgeous. _

_He had this golden, brown hair that was slightly curled at the ends. His eyes were this really nice yellowish, green colour and he had the longest eyelashes I had ever seen. _

_He also had a great build; great abs, big biceps, broad shoulders. And I'm pretty sure he was over 6 feet tall. _

_Sigh! He's so hot. _

_And he wasn't only good looking; he was so down-to-earth and sweet. He was such a gentle man. _

_He was a God and he was all mine! Tee hee…_

"_Ok, well be careful. Kevin, please have her back by 11:00 and drive safely." My mom started her pre-date talk._

"_Of course! Don't worry Mrs. Ackerman, we'll be careful."_

"_Here Susie, I'll take your flowers in for you. Be careful and have fun."_

_I handed the roses to my mom. _

"_Ok mom, bye"_

_We headed outside and my mom closed the door behind us. When the door was closed, Kevin rapped an arm around my waste._

"_You know my mom can still see us." I teased him. Personally, I really didn't care if my mom saw us or not. _

_And I could tell Kevin didn't care either. He just smiled down at me and walked toward his sleek, silver Mercedes. _

_Tee hee, he had a Mercedes. My boyfriend was not only extremely hot and sweet, but he was also pretty rich. _

_I loved him so much, he was so amazing. I feel like he was the perfect guy for me. Even my mom was ok with me dating him even though he was two years older than me. _

_The only person who didn't want me dating him was Jake. He said that he wasn't good for me. He said I shouldn't be with him and though he might look sweet, I still don't know him very well. _

_I think he was just jealous because I was dating his best friend. I mean, if he was so bad then why was Jake always hanging out with him?_

_Whatever, what does he know about guys… he thinks just because he's older he's also smarter. Though I highly doubt that, or I wouldn't have named him Sleepy._

_When Sleepy found out that he couldn't convince me into staying away from Kevin, he went on to talking to him. Though he wouldn't be convinced either and they got into this HUGE fight. _

_And now Jake totally hates Kevin and me. He won't talk to, or even look at me. One morning he even left without taking me. Andy got way pissed at him and grounded him for a week. _

_Deserves him right for not minding his own business. And when I told him that, he just gave me the dirtiest look I have ever received. And now he's way angry at me._

_Whatever, I don't care. All I care about is being with Kevin. And that's what I got in the end…_

_But I can't help but wonder about Kevin. There has to be something about him that made Sleepy go so far to keep me away from him. _

"_Here you go Suze," Kevin said holding the door open for me. _

"_Thanks," I said getting in. His car was so cool. I love having a perfect boyfriend! And Kevin really was perfect._

_He started the car and we were on our way. I didn't even know where we were going… I was too distracted to ask. _

_And if you had seen Kevin you would be distracted too. He was so good looking it hurt to look at him at times._

"_Where are we going?" I asked after a few minutes of silence. _

_I didn't really care about the place, I just wanted to know…_

"_To this really nice Italian restaurant. They have great food there. I hope you like Italian," he said glancing at me._

"_I love Italian." _

"_Good," he said smiling. _

_He was such a good driver. Just another thing to add to his perfect-ness._

_Sigh… perfect. Something I'll never be!_

_When we got to the restaurant, Kevin parked the car and we got inside._

_Oh my God, it was so nice and romantic inside the restaurant. _

_The walls were painted this nice maroon colour and the whole restaurant was lighted with candles. It was so nice and cozy!_

"_What do you think?" _

_I turned around so I was facing Kevin. I had forgotten he was even there… _

"_It's really nice. And cozy and romantic." I said looking around. _

"_What do you say we go find a table then," he asked in that soft silky voice. Whenever he talked it felt like a blanket of softness and warmness was coming out of his mouth._

_Poetic much, Suze…_

_Anyways, we sat at a table for two and waited for a waiter. While waiting, I looked around at the other people in the restaurant. Everyone was dressed so formally in dresses and suits. I guess this was the ultimate date restaurant for rich people._

_Five minutes later a waiter showed up with manus. _

"_May I take your order miss?" he asked me. _

_Let's see what to have… being the unoriginal person I am, I ordered some spaghetti. Kevin ordered the same thing._

_While we waited for the food, we enjoyed our drinks and talked about stuff. The conversation was really awkward and dry. He mostly talked and asked questions, I just answered._

_I didn't really know what to talk about with him. We were totally different, yet we were still together._

_The food came and we both started eating. We didn't talk much during while eating; Kevin just asked me how I liked the food a couple of times._

_When we were both finished eating, Kevin looked at me with this really weird look in his eyes. Like he was trying to read me but he couldn't._

"_Um, do I have something on my face?" I hope I didn't, that suck beyond the sucking point._

"_No Suze. I was just… never mind. Are you all done eating?"_

_Ok, what's up with the whole never-mind-the-changing-the-subject thing? Could this date get any more awkward? _

"_Yeah I'm done eating." I said a little confused. I hated him not telling me what the hell was up. Having some one stare at you is kind of weird._

_He smiled at me and moved closer. He moved so close that I could smell his breath… mint-y fresh. _

_He leaned in and kissed me softly on my cheek. _

"_Are you having fun?" he whispered in my ear._

_I am now… tee hee._

"_I guess so…" I said. _

_He started trailing kisses down my neck. It felt so amazing, like having drops of hot water splatting against your skin. I moved my head so I was facing him and he started kissing my lips. _

_His kisses were so soft, but passionate and fierce at the same time. _

_I immediately dragged my arms up to his face. I tangled my fingers in his hair feeling every strand of it. _

_I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven! _

_I opened my eyes for a moment to make sure I was still in the restaurant. I saw that there were a couple of people staring at us. _

_I pulled away quickly, blushing. _

"_What's wrong Suze?" Kevin asked. Ooh, I think I made him upset. _

"_Um… nothing. It's just that there are people staring at us here." I said looking down at the ground. _

_He laughed when he'd heard. What was so funny, it's not like I told him a joke or something. _

"_Then let's go somewhere were no one will see us." He said getting up. I got up too and followed him out of the restaurant. We got in his car and he started driving. _

"_So where are we going?" I asked._

"_You'll see." He said._

_He continued driving to God knows where. Feeling a little tired I leaned against the seat and enjoyed the drive. _

_Minutes later, I saw that Kevin had started to speed up. And not just a little, a lot._

"_Maybe you should slow down." I said._

"_Stop worrying you pretty face."_

_Tee hee, he said I was pretty. _

_I looked up and saw a traffic light up ahead. The light turned yellow as Kevin was getting closer to it. _

_What happened to his perfect driving skills? _

_Kevin sped up even faster the before. There were no cars, so I guess it was ok…_

_No, it wasn't. We could so have an accident right now._

_I felt my heart beating faster then ever. I made sure I had my seat belt on just incase. _

"_Kevin, SLOW DOWN." I yelled. This was so ruining my date. Why couldn't he just drive like before?_

"_Don't worry Suze. There are no cars around." _

_I looked up at the traffic light and saw that it was red now. I looked around and I saw another car speeding…_

"_Kevin, stop the FUCKING car. There is a car coming the other way."_

"_Stop worrying. We'll pass him."_

_I looked and saw the other car getting closer. _

_Oh my GOD! _

"_Kevin please stop, we're going to crash." I said. I was crying now, I just knew we were going to crash._

"_Shut up Suze. You're such a…"_

_SMACK! _

_The other car had just crashed into the car on Kevin's side. The door had smashed and there was broken glass every where._

_When I was sure I was ok, I looked around at Kevin. Though I wish I hadn't…_

_His face was totally covered in blood. He was unconscious and his skin was as white and snow. _

"_Kevin. KEVIN." _

_No response. I undid my seatbelt and moved toward him. _

_He wasn't breathing… HE WASN'T BREATHING! _

"_Kevin, breath. Please breath." I said slapping his face. _

_I put my ear against his chest. I moved around trying to locate his heart but I couldn't find it._

"_OH MY GOD. Please be alive. Wake up, Kevin please get up." _

_I looked up and saw that his face was as white as ever. I continued looking for his heart. _

_Why couldn't I hear anything? Where the FUCK is his heart? _

_Not knowing what else to do, I started screaming as loud as I could._

**So what do you think? I might stop writing this fanfic...**

**If I get lots of reviews, I won't though! So review please!**


	6. Treasure Chest

**I am so sorry it has taken me like FOREVER to update. I just have so much homework everyday to do and when I don't I'm either too tired or doing some other shit. Please forgive me! **

**And sorry I haven't really told you much about Suze's death, but I promise you will find out something in this chapter. Don't kill me if it's not enough though! **

**Anyways… here's chapter six. Enjoy!**

**Jesse's POV**

I was putting the dishes I had purchased into the kitchen when I heard a loud scream coming from the bedroom. Thinking something bad had happened to Susannah, I rushed to the bedroom.

When I got there, I opened the door to reveal a very frightened and shocked Susannah. She was sitting on the bed looking straight ahead and breathing very rapidly, though she did not need to.

I walked over to the bed and took a seat next to her. I did not know how to react; I wasn't quite sure what had caused her to scream.

"Querida…"

She jumped up as soon as she heard me. I don't think she noticed that I had entered the room. She looked at me obviously very startled. Her eyes seemed to focus on me as if she could not remember who I was.

"Susannah, are you alright?" I said, careful not to frighten her again.

She stared at me, looking very clueless. Slowly her eyes began to focus on me and understand what was going on. She shook her head slowly and looked straight ahead.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Her voice was very toneless.

"You are certainly not fine. I just heard you scream Susannah. Tell why you were screaming."

I noticed that she was looking at me very intensely and sharply. She was certainly angry that I had raised my voice. I didn't want to, but I didn't like how she lied to me when I was only trying to help her.

"You know what Jesse I don't have to tell you anything, especially not when you yell at me. Yes I did scream, but that was only because I had a bad dream or well a memory considering I'm a ghost and I don't exist anymore to have dreams. Anyways, the point is that I'm not going to tell you shit as long as you're acting like an ass."

When she was finished yelling at me, she turned her head away to indicate that she did want to talk to me anymore. I slowly moved closer to her, being careful not to frighten her. She was still shaken from the bad dream she had. I slowly wrapped my arms around her and brought her closer to me. As I did so, she flinched and straightened up. I brought her head to my chest and softly kissed the top of her head. Again, she flinched.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you Querida. I promise not to let it happen again," I said into her hair. I noticed that her hair smelled very sweet even thought she was a ghost and she no longer had scent to her.

"It… it's ok," she mumbled into my chest. She wasn't as stiff as she had been before anymore. I even noticed that she had slowly placed her hands on my chest.

"I was really worried about you, Querida." I kissed the top of her head again. As I did so, she flinched again.

"Don't, I can take care of myself."

"What happened, Querida? Why did you scream like that?" I asked her softly. I glanced at the clock on my wall, it read 11:30.

Susannah just sat there for a few minutes. She seemed to be thinking if she could trust me or not.

I lifted her head of my chest do she was looking in my eyes now. I noticed that she had been crying.

"You can trust me, Querida. You know that I would never hurt you in any way." I told her softly.

"I had a dream or a flashback or whatever you want to call it." She said. I brought her head to my chest again and slowly stroked her beautiful, brown hair.

"Will you tell me what it was about?" I asked her softly.

"Kevin was picking me up for our first date. I was so excited, I was wearing my new dress and had fixed my hair so it looked especially nice for him. Everything was going great, no better than great. Everything was going perfect. Until… until he started speeding. We were driving back from the restaurant and then all of a sudden he started speeding. He was going so fast, and I was so afraid. I don't know what I was afraid of; I was just frightened to death. I could just feel it, I knew something bad was going to happen. And then… and then…"

She stopped and looked away. She had stopped crying now and her eyes were dry. Except she looked different, she had this look in her eyes which I had not seen before.

"What happened next, Querida?" I asked her softly. When I did so, she slowly turned to face me. She stared at me very extremely before answering the question I had asked her.

"And then, a car slammed into us. Kevin's car was destroyed; there was nothing left of it. The side I was sitting on didn't get hit, so I was ok except for a couple of cuts and bruises. But Kevin… but he… when I looked over to see if he was ok, I saw that he was lying there unconscious. I tried waking him up but nothing worked. Then I started checking his heartbeat. I put my ear against his chest but I heard nothing. He… he… Kevin was dead."

I was very shocked by what I had heard. I could tell before that Susannah had not had a very easy life, but now I had heard just one of the hard things she had to deal with. And I was sure there were many more.

She was staring at me and I was looking into her eyes. I slowly brought her head to me chest again and tried to calm her down by running my hand up and down her back.

"Querida?"

"Hmm?" She answered me in a some what shaky voice.

"Will you tell me who Kevin was?" I asked her again. I knew he was her date for that particular night, but I knew there was more to him. Perhaps after his death he had come back as a spirit and Susannah might have helped him.

"Kevin? He was my boyfriend. And… he… he was the one who killed me. Kevin murdered me right here, in this very room."

_Dios!_

8

**Suze's POV**

Last night was one of the worst and best nights of my life. Good because Jesse held for almost like three hours. After a while I noticed he was very tired so I just dematerialized to the living and let him sleep. But he actually held me for THREE hours. It was amazingly magical. And he also kissed me. Not the passionate type I wanted but on the top of my head.

I know I must sound desperate and stupid and pathetic, but you can think whatever the hell you want. It was magical having that moment with Jesse. Though it wasn't really a moment, but you know what I mean.

But I can NOT believe I told Jesse all those stuff. I told him I was murdered and who murdered me. He probably thinks I'm the biggest loser to this day. I mean how many girls do you know who get murdered by their boyfriends? And not just their boyfriends, but the ghost of their boyfriends? None, and that's the way it should be. That just proves that I am the biggest freaking freak ever.

I honestly don't know how I'm going to face Jesse ever again. I know he'll bring it up every time he has the chance. Any one would. People are just interested when it comes to murder. I don't know why, murder sucks ass but they just are.

I was outside on the balcony watching people do their stuff and thinking about murder. Well my murder to be exact. I can remember every tiny detail of it. The screams, the cries, the pleads and begs, even the look Kevin had in his eyes. It was look of pure evil.

I don't know what happened, we were making out one second and the next Kevin was on top of me choking me. And trust me when I say choking isn't a pleasant way of dying.

"Susannah?"

Oh god, please go away. I was so not in the mood to talk to Jesse, especially after what had happened last night. Just pretend you can't hear him. Don't say anything and he'll go away eventually.

"Susannah?" Go away! What's up with people and butting in other people's business?

Pretending I didn't hear him, I just continued looking outside. I could see kids enjoying their last few days before school started again. There were a couple of boys about 14 skateboarding and few girls watching them.

They reminded me of back when I was in New York. Me and Gina always used to walk around town everyday before school started. It was our tradition to try to do as much as we could get done before school started. I remember the huge shopping sprees we had when we bought whatever was on sale as long it fit as and didn't look like a truck had ran over it.

_Sigh! _I miss Gina so much. I even miss school, which is kind of weird. But anything, even school, beats being dead.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't realize Jesse standing next to me until he softly tapped my shoulder.

Well I guess there is no way I can ignore him now. I mean he isn't stupid. He probably knows I'm ignoring him right now too.

So, I decided to pretend that I had totally forgotten about what had happened last night. So I put on my best smile and turned around to face him.

"Good morning," I said in my best happy, preppy voice.

"Good morning Susannah," he said very simply. It made me so mad, he sounded like he wanted to talk about something. And that something else is probably my frigging death.

"Um… did you sleep well?" Can I get any lamer? Did you sleep well my ass.

"Yes Susannah, I slept ok."

I hate how he was looking at me so intently. His dark eyes looked like they were searching mine. And they were probably looking for some answers. Just because I was distracted last night and spilled everything to him, doesn't mean I'm gona do that again. Yes I was distracted last night. From what you ask, let's just say I lost my awareness when Jesse pulled me into his arms.

"Well, um… that's good. You should go get something to eat then. We don't want you becoming anorexic." Wow I'm lame. I just told a _guy_ who probably weighs _200 pounds_ he's going to become anorexic. Jesse probably thinks I die my hair.

"I already ate, Susannah." Well that solves that problem.

"Well you should go get ready for college or university or wherever you're going. Doesn't it start tomorrow?"

He laughed. Yes, you read that right he laughed at me. You know, as in opening his mouth and having soft, silky sounds coming from him indicating that he thinks I'm either a loser or hilariously funny.

And well, the problem is I REALLY don't like being laughed at. Especially by someone I like. And Jesse just laughed at me. So I guess you can say I got a bit pissed. Not that pissed to beat the shit out of him, but pissed enough to give him a little shove and kind of yell at him.

"Hey, don't laugh at me?" I calmly said that. NOT!

"I'm not laughing at you, Querida. I am laughing at your actions." He said between chuckles.

"Oh yeah, and what's so wrong with my actions?"

"Nothing, it's just that, you were acting like my mother. I am very sorry if I hurt your feelings, Susannah." He had stopped laughing now, and you could say he looked pretty serious and sorry.

"Whatever you say deSilva." I said turning around to face the startling view of the blue ocean. I was kind of hoping that Jesse would leave when I did so, but no. He just stood there looking at me. It was as if he wanted to say something to me but didn't know where to start. And I wasn't about to help him out.

So I just stood there, looking out and waiting for Jesse to say what he wanted to say. Honestly, I don't know why it was so hard for him to say whatever was on his mind. I mean it's not like he was going to tell me he was in love with me. Hahaha, what kind of an idiot would ever fall in love with a ghost? Especially one that was murdered.

"Susannah?" Jesse finally said after what seemed like an hour. The way he said that made me get goose bumps all over my arms. He said it so softly and quietly as if it was only for me to hear. And his voice had this sad, curious tone to it, but it still sounded warm and silky.

"Yes," I replied just as quietly as he had, but for some reason my voice sounded squeaky and very high pitch.

"Will you please tell me more about Kevin and your murder? I know it is very difficult for you, but I want to help you." He sounded so sincere and honest and kind that it made me feel horrible for yelling at him earlier. It made me want to tell him everything I've been hiding for so long. It made me want to bury my face in his chest and cry because of all that happened to me.

But all I did was stare. I just stood there staring up at him. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. My mouth went completely dry. I couldn't even dematerialize, it was too much work. So I just stood there and stared.

My gaze slowly fell down to the ground. I wanted to tell him everything more than ever. I wanted to be able to trust him, be honest with him, tell him everything that troubled me…

And at that moment, I really felt like I could. I felt like I was a treasured chest full of secrets, and Jesse had just opened this treasure chest.

So, I told him. I told him everything. Everything I'd tried so hard to hard to keep from others just came streaming out of my mouth.

I told him about Kevin's death, how his family blamed me for it, how I'd cried for weeks after, how my mom had signed me up for psychiatry to help me get over seeing a dead body. I told him about how he'd come to me as a ghost after, how he'd told me he was sorry he'd put me through so much, how he wanted us to be together. I told him about how I felt so loved and wanted, but at the same time so afraid of Kevin. I told about how he would pressure me into things I wasn't ready for, how he would get mad at me and yell, and how I would run to him apologizing for something I never did.

And then, I told him about how he killed. I told him everything about that horrible night. About how we were making out, and how when he wanted more I had said no. About how he had gotten mad and yelled at me and hit me. I told everything he'd said to me, form calling me a bitch to threatening me.

I told about how he told me I should have been the one who died in the car crash and how he was going to make sure I did. And he did, he did make sure I died. Because then, he put his hands around my throat and choked me until I didn't need air anymore.

And when I was finished telling all this to Jesse, he slowly put his arms around me and held me as I softly cried into his chest.

**I told you shall find out about her death. Now review! Or I'll send Kevin after you!**


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